Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize