Welp...herpes.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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