Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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