I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
