Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Randomize
