Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
