Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
