I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
