**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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