She's JV to your varsity
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
