dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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