Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Randomize
