What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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