So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
