It was confusing and full of hummus
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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