You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
