Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
