This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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