the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
50% drunk capacity currently
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
