So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
