my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
