dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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