I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
