Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
