You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
