what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
