I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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