Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
