I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
