Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
is wine microwaveable?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
