Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
