i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She bit a glass in half.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
