i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
