you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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