I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize