Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My vagina is very pro this idea
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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