come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
