I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
