i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Randomize
