if i can run in heels then i can drive
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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