she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
