How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
