Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
