That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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