At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize