you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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