Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Randomize