I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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