I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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