so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize