i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
