the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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