YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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