she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
