K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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