Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
