dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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