This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
mondays should just be called national damage control day
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
