Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
