'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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