Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
