Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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